Here I am about a few years after that initial encounter with deceitful Tom Cruise from EH. Just thinking about the experience again makes me cough out this thick phlegm out of my windpipe.
So let’s stop there already.
I’m still single and mingling yet again online with a squadrillion of men on OKCupid. Initially I decided on paying for the membership. I met this 50-something fireman with kids and did yoga , was also doing other physical athletic activities that were too much for my liking. He was too busy and was looking for someone who would jump the mountain with him. Maaaaan, come on. I put your fire out. Don’t make me do cartwheels and climb Mt. Shasta afterwards too. I like to do activities I enjoy like hip-hop dancing, fast-walking and swimming. Anyway, he is dating an Asian woman who, accdoring to him, shares the same hobbies as he does but is a little VANILLA.
VANILLA? So this was a new word for me at the time. Fireman then tells me that he wants to be with other women too, that he would like to try other “dishes”. I honestly pity the women guys like him end up being with. Then again, I am guessing as long as he never becomes unfaithful and he remains to make her happy. He tells me that this is typical of most men. Fireman and I are friends on facebook. I see him and her girlfriend (oh she is gummy – you know, when she smiles, her gums are wider than her teeth? Just my observation.)
After Fireman, I continue to chat with guys on the annoying site. Swipe. Swipe. Swipe.
I edit my profile here and there, answer more questions.
I meet some guys who are totally weird and some that are friendly.
One dude was so hilarious, each of his messages made me pee my pants, I had to bring extra undies to work. However, when I stated going to his apartment that was actually close to the beach and we were about to have sex… Guess what? His Penis won’t work.
That is just not hilarious anymore.
I canceled automatic renewal of my membership.
Presently, my profile is more subdued. Serious and straight-to-the-point “I’m looking for someone who really looks as his age and with a pecker that isn’t frail”. I have re-answered a few questions and have “liked” a few guys who somehow mutually liked me. Hmm.
My deal-breakers : bad breath , body odor, arrogance, extreme sarcasm, apathy, facial hair
Turn on : affection, compassion, kindness, sense of humor, integrity, clean face,
Tonight I am tentatively meeting with Steve, a doctor, who loves to mountain climb and drink wine. He seems to be centered and really down-to-earth, with a sense of humor and lives fairly close to me.
So far from our interactions I have given him 6.5/10… He’s not very sweet and affectionate. That’s my biggest deal in a partner – Mr. Darcy learned that quick.
OK Shoot Me (Already) 