Analyze Me

After a year of unemployment, I started seeing an analyst to help me better understand what’s going on in my life. 

Right at this point, online dating and looking for a decent man is not my top priority. I couldn’t even give a rat’s ass if PB still acknowledged me or not. Back a few years ago, I would start to panic when the guy I’m dating didn’t text me in a 12-hour period. Or even shorter. I once dated a younger man who called me on a regular basis . Too bad he turned out to be bi and addicted to video games. 

When I saw my analyst for the first time, she was pretty down to earth and yeah, she told me how I am becoming too distant from what my top goals should be. I told her about my relationship with PB and how it’s not really helping me much. Work isn’t sufficient to pay for my rent and utilities so I am set to get another job – a second job since I do like what my work is currently even if I only work part-time. I mentioned in my previous post that the staff I’m currently working with is mainly younger than me. I try to be mum whenever they have conversations that I felt I also had, only 20 years ago. 

Both my bosses that shadow me are younger than me too. My main manager is older… could be in his 50s. 

Anyway, weekend came and went. I was off Sunday and tomorrow too. I would like to go to the beach again. The beach and the ocean fills me with such peace. I was working Saturday evening but it wasn’t busy at all. The kids at work were busy flicking that twisty gadget that spins in between their fingers. I have zero plans of indulging myself in such worthless fad. 

So Sunday, I dismantled my 4-year-old dining table and brought it to the garbage bins for tomorrow’s pick up. It’s one of the heaviest and bulkiest to move around and even carry. My landlord / apartment is evicting me and I need to appear in court in two weeks… how do I persuade the judge to understand my side? My credit score is on a record low and none of these smaller and cheaper apartments will accept me… especially with the eviction. I have boxed 30% of my belongings and I have plenty of boxes in my living room waiting to be filled.

But where do I go? I have pets with me. Am I going to start living in my car?

There isn’t a day that I don’t think about packing, or going to the beach, my debts… I also think about how the court will turn out to be. However, I try to not worry. Worrying doesn’t turn things around. Heh,  I wish it did! 

So, my OK cupid account is deleted . When I’m able to organize my life and stand stable, maybe I’ll create another profile. PB doesn’t have to be in my picture either as I clearly have big doubts about him and he feels it. He doubts me too – we both don’t trust each other.

Again, priorities.

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Work and Cray

I’m happy to announce to all my valued followers that I have finally found a job after a year of being unemployed. It’s a part-time gig but I get to interact with people that are of the professional background and I work with a staff that is comprised of younger men and women who are mostly still in school.

Dating-wise, I should get a hammer and knock myself in the head. For the past couple of weeks, I have been seeing Pervert Bob (PB) from time to time. I guess it’s because he takes me out to dinner and we at times do get along on some things. Very little things though (music and food). I’m not sure if I had mentioned in my previous blogs that he is a Pothead (smokes weed)…to get high and more often than not that I see only time that we really have a good time while I am at at his apartment. Again, he is an insensitive jerk and I am quite sure that he’s only seeing me because of the sex. I have told him that I am looking for someone to have a real relationship with… A man who can be there for me through thick or thin – someone I can rely on and trust. He told me that he wanted to make good and wanted to fulfill the things that he promised that he would do with me in the past. I did not believe 90% of what he said but considering the fact that I have been feeling lonely and with not many friends, I decided that it didn’t harm me to hang out with him. It just drives me nuts all over again though !!!

For a couple of nights that I was at his apartment – these are the nights that were not consecutive – he would get into an argument with me about little things and his voice gets too loud, I am sure his neighbors are probably wondering what is up. One time, he told me that he would not allow me to talk to him about his family, work, and a few other things. I brought this up a week or two after that occasion , he apologized and he said that he did sound like a prick when he said those things. He is still a prick. I asked a nonchalant question about what would happen if he smoked pot and went to work – hey stupid as a question sounds, I asked that question because we were pretty much talking about a debate whether marijuana is indeed therapeutic or does it cause more trouble than good. Again, he got so upset and told me that I am asking him questions I would know the answer to all ready. Why the fuck would I say that? Why would I ask questions I know the answer to already, isn’t that really stupid? He told me that, it’s common sense that you cannot go to work drunk. So you should not be going to work high. 

Anyway, my point in asking him about that was because-  like what if people who rely on medicinal marijuana have to take it and they have to go to work? He wasn’t able to answer the question primarily because he smokes pot to get high. Inside my head I was very annoyed and irritated with him but I stayed calm, so as not to cause him to get so aggressive and start yelling in his apartment again.

Geez, why am I not surprised if I will not be only woman who’s this dumb ? Dumb like me. 

He rarely contacts me. He never calls either unless to say he’s “here”. 

To be honest, I think I am just allowing myself to tolerate this man because he is aware of what’s going on in my life and I am not that comfortable sharing everything that I’ve shared with this man to new man. Although PB is not very sympathetic … he doesn’t have an idea I’m getting evicted from my apartment and that I filed for bankruptcy! Boy I would love to be with someone who can understand what I’m going through and at least be caring enough to ask how I am able to make it through each day. 

PB said he doesn’t trust me after our previous arguments . I told him if that was how he felt, he shouldn’t have reached out to me anymore. I told him that I have blocked him everywhere and he managed to get me to see him again. I told him that I have moved on and that I was happy. 

I don’t trust him, period. One weekend he told me that he woke up feeling not very well. That was the morning after the concert that he went out with his family to see. That Saturday afternoon, we were going to try to see each other and spend the weekend together. I called him and he sounded high, not sick. “I’m dizzy when I get up from the couch, can’t drive, nauseated ….”

Well, I drove by his apartment without him knowing and saw him eating spoonfuls of ice cream and watching 2 shows – on TV and from his laptop. Saw these from his sliding door lol. I’m crazy…shoot me already. Look at what crazy does though? He wasn’t sick – he just made an excuse to not hang out. He even told me the other day that he suspects that I did not believe him when he told me that he was sick. 

Oh yeah ?

Blocked 

Pervert Bob won’t leave me alone. All this time I thought I’ve blocked him on every social media where he can access me and blocked him on my cellphone. Today, he sends me a “hi there” on Yelp. 

This idiot has gone too far with all his lies and shit. All I expected was some respect . We were not officially dating and I made that quite clear with him. Fuck Buddies should still respect each other, otherwise, why be called buddies? 

One night about 1 month ago, he asked to see me after his company dinner (it was a Wednesday which was kinda odd as his company dinners happen on Fridays). I told him that I can see him after I have dinner with my family. It was around 7:30 pm when he messaged me . At 9:30, I sent him a text asking if we were still on. I never got a reply until 6pm the next evening.

“I just spent the night in jail.” His text went. “I got a DUI and I just got out late this afternoon. I missed work too.”

Initially gullible, I felt bad for him. We had a little banter about his DUI experience and he later said he didn’t want to discuss it anymore. Then, knowing how efficient of a liar he is, I logged in to Facebook and saw that he “liked” a few posts and reacted to a few in between 10 am and 2:30 pm that day. In my head I wasn’t surprised that this sonofabitch was lying again. 

Really, I didn’t care what he may have been up to the night before hence he couldn’t see me. All I expected was a “something came up”. I confronted him about the Facebook activity he had during the day and he started calling me names (idiot, skanky, loser) . He insisted that I didn’t know what I was talking about and that I was a pathetic loser. I gave him my point about just being honest and I wouldn’t have really minded if he couldn’t make it. He started “LOL’ing” and said I would still suck his penis no matter what.

Blocked. Blocked. Blocked.

A couple of days later, he messages me on Facebook Messenger. “Hey sexy. Are you horny ? Wanna fuck?” 

Blocked his 4-inch penis.

Today he finds me on Yelp with a “Hi there.” 

Blocked. 

This dirtbag owes me an apology and that’s it. I also don’t need it from him. I just want to throw him underneath all the other garbages in the dump truck. He’s more than 10 years older than me and he can’t straighten himself up. 

Please, if anyone has a fuck buddy, you don’t just fuck around with them and tell them things like “you’ll still suck my cock no matter what”. 

Dumbass. Heh.

New Gig 

My apologies for not following through “to-be-continued blog. I have started working again! It took almost a year before I landed another job. It is so different from my last one but the good thing is I get a lot of exercise and I am not just sitting around and getting stressed out. I also get to meet a lot people.

It began when I created an account with this sell-your-stuff online. Although it is very unpredictable, I have been keeping myself busy making my website up-to-date and filled with different things to sell. My clothes, perfumes, shoes and even used underwear. I am sure this is not the first time that you would hear the possibility of used undies being sold. Ever since I started this gig, I have racked up about $200 worth of sales from used underwear. Even more I think. To be honest, there was a website where I posted this used underwear one time and I got numerous responses from strangers who were interested in seeing me wearing those undies and paying for it. Sensing that they were not really up to the payment part, I made it a point that they paid me through PayPal before they got the pictures that they wanted. I did not show my upper torso of course. There was just this one person who was really adamant about seeing the underwear being used and since I thought, it will be just like any other underwear being used without them seeing my face or the owner of underwear, I thought it was going to be safe. So this gentleman who wanted to purchase a picture of me wearing undies, sent me $25 through PayPal and I sent him a picture of me wearing the thongs. Easy money, I thought. Originally, I told him that I was going to charge him $50 if it included a picture of the undies beinh worn. However, this gentleman was not interested in purchasing the undies but more interested in seeing them being worn. He paid up, so he got what he asked for.

After a few minutes of being in that website and keeping a slow banter with some interested people, somebody must’ve flagged my profile and then eventually I got a note from that website saying that I am selling items that were not allowed in that website. Somebody must’ve flagged it I’m sure.

So onwards to my other online selling page. There has been a steady trickle of money/income coming from that website. I started my business from that website in 2016 December, and so far I’ve racked up about over $1500. It definitely helps to pay the bills, keeping my rent, and the occasional shopping for make up. 

I went on a date once in February but that was just plainly awkward. Canadian guy who I rushed for to meet. I was in the middle of my daily run when the message came through. We met for coffee at a local downtown shop and there wasn’t anything absolutely interesting about him except for the fact that he was just so boring. I guess just to change things up, after we had coffee, I asked me if I can go with him to target to help him find a humidifier for his home. I said that it’s fine and that Target that closest was just a few blocks away from where we were having coffee. Eventually, it started to rain so we decided to take his car. This gentleman drives an Audi S4… The music in his car when I went in was hip-hop and that kind of told me something about this gentleman. It may be wrong for me to judge people with the kind of music that they played in their car, but I am really more into jazz music and possibly more of an 80s 70s kind of girl. If I do judge people because of the music that they played in the car, that is just me and it is just my opinion. I know, it is everybody’s right to have their own opinion. After shopping for his humidifier, we headed back to his car. At the parking garage, he asked me if I felt like watching a movie today. I told him that yeah, I think I may have some time. He then told me that he had some movies saved up at his recorder at his house. Immediately I told him that I am not ready to go forward in that department yet, in the most subtle way possible. I honestly thought he was referring to going to the movies in the movie theater. Heading over to a guys house during the first date, specially if I do not feel anything sparkly… I usually leave it that can end up into something that I will most definitely regret. It’s going to be a waste of time. He took it easily and he dropprd me off to my car. Nice try, Canada.

By March this year, I am still actively involved in that website but then eventually one of my family members told me about this steakhouse about five minutes away from where I live . They do have an opening for a possible hostess or waitress. My previous profession was in healthcare … so you can imagine how much experience I have. 

I passed the interview and by the next week I started working and was on my training.

So by the beginning of March, let’s say I’m working again . Whooopdeedoo !!!

I was still on OkCupid and although not there as often as I used to be in my previous membership, there is a certain gentleman who asked for my number and gave me his number at the same time. He’s picture is 50-50 handsome and 50-50 ghetto. He has tattoos on both of his knuckles and who knows where else that goes through. I am not very partial guys to have a lot of unless they are absolutely chill, kind, funny, and very smart. I don’t meet that guy every day. As matter of fact I don’t even meet guys without tattoos like that every day. So one day before I started the week of my work at the restaurant, I was in my neighborhood parks taking a walk when he calls me. By the grace of God, I became the most patient individual listening to this man yak and yak about him being stuck in traffic on his way to San Francisco for a block party. He is about my age and with that being said, I did not really expect him to be the block party kind of person. Although he said that he provide security for the event, he sounded like he was on crystal meth and trying to deliver every single conversation that he could find in his head. There was just no stepping on the brakes with this guy talking on the phone. He was nice enough to invite me to join him at the block party after whatever I was doing. Again, gone were the days when I would go and attend parties where I would be around strangers that could gt really really get rowdy. The traffic is stopped and he hung up the phone. I continued with my park walk and enjoyed why I love the most: peace and quiet.

So it’s spring time now and the weather in California is getting really warm. My new job, I have met a few nice people and some that are just OK. Most of them are younger than me like in their early 20s and early 30s. Although I don’t feel like the oldest person, my previous experience from my old profession makes the work here a no-brainer.

I still need another job. This one is very part time and unpredictable. I have only been here less than 30 days so we shall see what happens next.

I Didn’t Forget

It has been quite a few since the last time I posted something on here. That’s because I have as a matter fact, I deleted my previous profile on OkCupid . There’s just no sense going on and on with all those idiots… I can’t even remember how exactly was the last date. All I know is that was unmemorable and with some dude that just probably wanted to get in my pants…or someone who really is not sure of what he wants in life.

Stupid of me, I was seeing my ex from last summer. I discussed him in my previous blogs – he’s the one that’s a big pervert – with a pretty cute penis who sent dick pics like they were TPS reports. Well,  to say something about that, we were not really back into a serious relationship. Once or twice in two months we saw each other just for sex. He was still an asshole…And I was still stupid. I say that he’s still an ass because, despite me emphasizing that I really didn’t need to know what’s going on with him all the time like before (I even told him that I was not his girlfriend again, so don’t bother), I really do get peed of when the men I see lie to me – and I catch them. First of all, I would never be pissed had I never find out that he’s lying. Really, we all lie. What matters the most is that if it ever gets found out. It is the same thing as a shoplifter, I guess. No one really knows the person is taking anything unless he gets caught. Does that sound fair? Both people know that it is wrong, but no one would really get hurt when they don’t know.

Until the lies get bigger, or the shoplifter starts robbing people and ultimately attack them just to get their belongings. 

Anyway, what I’m trying to get at… right now, I am not seeing anyone at all. I ended it altogether again with perverted guy because he flaked out on me one night and never returned my calls or my text asking him if we were still on for the night. The next day, he messaged at 6 pm telling me he’s got a DUI and spent all night jail. At first, I felt really bad for him because of everything that he was telling me including having his car towed and spending about $300 just to get it back. Later on, I looked up his profile on Facebook (we are no longer friends on there but I can still see updates from post that he liked etc. It does sound stalker-ish but that’s how I busted his tiny ass). Apparently at 10 o’clock in the morning that day that he was supposed to be in jail and at 2 o’clock in the afternoon the same day, he was liking and commenting on posts for the San Francisco Gate and the Washington Post. So, if he was in jail, how could he be commenting and posting such things? I confronted him about that of course in the most diplomatic way as possible. Indicating facts that I know he made those comments on those Facebook posts. He started calling me a pathetic loser and a skank. He even said that I am just riling him up and accusing him of lying but I really don’t know what I’m talking about. I told him that I discussed with him before, that since we are not in any relationship that is serious anymore, he doesn’t really need to tell me exactly where his whereabouts are or what is happening with him. All I asked from him is to be honest with me. He could’ve told me that something came up and he cannot discuss it with me or that he is not coming to pick me up anymore. I would’ve been absolutely fine with that. I said he was a “big sack of shit”. He blocked my number. I blocked him on Instagram, Twitter and ALSO blocked his cellphone from contacting me. A week later, he sends me a message on Facebook messenger saying, “Hey sexy, are you horny? Wanna fuck?” . I didn’t reply and blocked him on Messenger. Too much disrespect calling me names – and expect me to still see him after that – to add to his awful lie.

That would be true with any kind of relationship that I would be in. Of course, I have lied to my previous boyfriends in the past and even lie to my friends, clients, and relatives. I just know that I have to admit to lying to them when I get busted or try to never be caught. From previous relationships where I have been cheated on and lied to, I think that I may have developed this clear sense catching someone when they fib. Let’s just say that we learn from our mistakes of trusting or learn from our own experiences.

About two weeks before the last time that I saw that pervert loser, I made a decision to create another profile on OkCupid and this time writing a profile that indicates my true self and not really trying to be a sweet little candy a little boy can suck on… It’s true, in my previous OKCupid profile, I made it in such a way that the guys would read it word hopefully find it really interesting and cute. It was a long-written profile and despite that I thought I wrote it quite eloquently, that didn’t lead to dates with similar-versed men. Well, I AM cute but I really want to be with someone who is going to accept me for who I am and what I expect them to think I am. It was around mid January of this year that I created the profile. I placed photographs of me in the park, by the shore, and at home standing next to a tree, wearing a deep neck sundress.

Not so long after I created the profile, I got bombarded with several messages from men ages 21 to 55. My specific age limit on there is 40-50. I still do not understand why men that seem to be the same age as I am really really old…or ugly. It’s so disappointing . The younger men, in their 20s look appealing and well-kempt. The 30+ are big perverts and cannot seem to start a good conversation… “what’s your nationality ??” . 

Fuck off. Seriously ? 

To be continued.

Young(er) Again

My age requirement online never goes below 39. At the most, I would give a higher consideration to men who are 5 years older than me. Women mature faster than men…maybe BUT a lot of them are still jackasses at 55. That myth IS a myth.

Or 75. It really doesn’t matter, I am so fucking jaded. Some of them are well-educated masters of this and that, however, being educated just in school isn’t being educated at all. I have dated men who were 15 years my senior…or even older to be my Dad. Ha! I experimented JUST to find Mr. Right. Most men over 60 just seem to start smelling old….bad pun. I know this because I worked around taking care of the elderly and dated a guy who was 60 when I was 29.

Most men.

Alright, back to where my point is and what this post is mainly about.

2 weeks ago, I attended a Yelp party with my buddy Dean at Downtown. He and I met at the venue. It was a holiday party for Elites and while we both waited to get inside, another Yelper – Gilbert – arrived who happened to have known Dean from the previous Yelp Elite events. Dean introduced us and we all had a fun night . It happened that this guy – he is a 6 footer black guy who can almost pass for Ne-Yo – also played in the same volleyball group that I belonged to.It’s also this same group where I used to date one of the big time players – Stan. The party finished at 9:30 PM. Dean was going all around and socializing. Gilbert stayed with me and we took each other’s pictures, etc. When we were all outside of the venue, Gilbert wanted to party some more but Dean said he had to go on. Later on, I received a text from Dean saying, “I don’t want to be a cock blocker.”. Oh well, I didn’t reply. Meanwhile, Gilbert and I ended up partying all night at a salsa club. Dancing is one activity I will always love to do. From his anecdotes, I figured that he was younger than me. It’s like he was in high school when I was already 22. While we were salsa dancing and I was sweating like AC/DC in mid-concert, kept twirling me around so he would be behind me. Heh, I just danced salsa. The only thing I grind is beef.

When we left the salsa club, we ended up hungry and went to a o24-hour diner. He paid for my drinks so I volunteered to pay for the food. We talked about the upcoming volleyball group event and agreed to see each other there. I gave him a hug when we parted at the parking lot. When he sent me a “Night, night” message later, he addressed me as “Gorgeous.”

We saw each other briefly at the volleyball event. He was playing in another net when I arrived. He is a very aggressive player. I only play for fun now. He acknowledged my presence when he was jumping to play in another net. I walked to him after 1 game to give him a hug.

I’m sure you may have noticed how much of a hugger I am. I left the event with a few older men who I played with and I went home. Oh, Gilbert and I became friends on Facebook after the Yelp event. Let’s say he also added me on Instagram. We are following each other now.  I really didn’t pay attention to the fact that he was with me all night at the Yelp event and checking me out at the volleyball game. He later on told me that the latter was a fact. He was checking me out while I played and he said he would like to be my team mate in the future. I didn’t tell him but he plays very competitively, I see myself getting sprayed with saliva if we played together in a league.

A few days after volleyball, he messaged me on Facebook telling me that he wants to see me again. His “dance partner”. It was fun the last time so I agreed to get some drinks with him at the same salsa club. He came to pick me up… he was late too. When I entered his car, he had a little bouquet of flowers for me. Aww. The salsa club was closed so we ended up at the bar next to it. Upon getting seated at the bar, I ordered my drink and he asked me what the reason was that I broke up with Stan. They happen to be playing together often now. I dated Stan 3 years ago after meeting him at the volleyball group. He was very passionate about volleyball that we had major issues meeting halfway. I felt myself changing my routines just to adjust to his…He tried to meet me halfway BUT he became very depressed and we kept fighting. Not to forget he wouldn’t shower for days because he would be playing volleyball, come home, wake up the next day and hurry to work…play volleyball again afterwards. Gilbert scoffed at that reason. He also asked me about what kind of music I listened to. Should I have told him the truth and said “Etta James, Ella Fitz and Louis “? Well, I told him instead that I like oldies and said the music must be older than him. Gilbert listens to reggae and hip-hop. He replied saying that he is not that much younger than me.

6 Years is.

I did not tell Gilbert about that shower part though, about Stan. That’s gross and unnecessary.

We soon left the bar. Gilbert went in for the “you want to head over to my place for a while?”. I was already slightly tipsy.

Gilbert is very lean and at 6 feet, I am quite sure that was the reason – and that I was tipsy – why I didn’t enjoy what transpired in his apartment. He took me home the next morning.

Unlike before, I am not the kind of person to message a guy after having intercourse with him, just to see if there is any connection. I was tipsy, sleepy and really couldn’t care less as long as I get home to my comfy clothes right after. I think I may really be getting old or really do not care about being intimate with anyone anymore after so many failed online meetings.

This past weekend, Gilbert asked to go together at the volleyball event. When it started to rain, I admit, I was quite glad. Gilbert is very cute. He dresses nicely and smells oh so nice. I know most of the girls in the volleyball group has the hots for this young man. There is a blonde in our group who asked him out to her Christmas party too. He later posted it on Instagram. 

What to do if he asks me out again ? I highly doubt it will be anything besides for a drink, but I will nicely turn him down…unless we are going out for a movie or something.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

More Than Senior

Most men who I turn down online are good sports about it . Majority of them take it lightly and I don’t often get one that demands an essay of why he didn’t make the cut. When I get lazy, I typically don’t respond at all to those that I do not find interesting at all. Often times those would be guys who are physically unattractive and either start with a conversation that’s utterly boring or just plain sexist like, “I’d like you to cook for me.” or “you can be my Mom and take care of me.”. I mean, shut up already! !! I don’t even bother to  type or think about responding  to those . 

For the past few weeks however, this dude welltreveldman  (yes, I noticed it too) has been messaging me with paragraph-long greeting AS IF we’ve known each other for years. At first I did not pay attention to his messages and thought that they would eventually go away. His messages would usually end up with emojis of flowers and hearts. According to his profile, he is 49 years old. However, he absolutely looks like he is ready to retire! I’m not going to say that he is ugly to begin with however, there is no way he was 49. This week he messaged me with another one of his speeches, typically like “Hello Jane, how are you doing today ! I hope you have a wonderful day. It’s a great weather today and your smile adds to the beauty…I was wondering if I can take you out to lunch or coffee…my number is blah blah bloo”. 

Last Sunday , he tells me that he has 2 tickets to see a Van Halen at the Amphitheater and was hoping he could take me with him. I was like, “The heck?” . This was probably his 10th or more message and because of the fact that he was asking me out to a concert in the evening totally got my attention. It’s either it made me feel weird or a little impressed. I was impressed with his spunk to be honest. How could someone expect anyone who is a stranger to go hang out with them at night in a concert where Van Halen was performing? Some nerve this guy had, I thought. This is when I finally decide to message him back and told him that although I appreciate the invitation, I really do not prefer meeting people for the first time in that aspect.

“Come on! It’s going to be fun. I understand we haven’t met but I guarantee you I am safe. I can pick you up anywhere you like and we can drive to the concert in one car.If you prefer to meet me at the concert , that’s fine with me too.”

Again, what gives this dude the idea? I thought he may just be naturally nice. I turn him down and since my inbox was flooding with messages already, I send him a text through my phone. I thought I can always block him if he gets too pushy or annoying. He sends me more messages about going to the concert despite me being firm about not meeting up with elderly men after 6. :p

The next day, he sends me videos of the concert. I told him that it looked fun, yadda yadda, yadda… He asks me out to lunch or coffee “or whatever you want to do. I saw we match 94%, doesn’t that mean a big thing ? I also have read the answers to your questions and find you very attractive inside and out.”

Hmm, I thought. Answers to my questions…

I went back to this profile more about him including “his answers to his questions”. It was unbelievable how many questions this guy havs answered! It tells me that he may have been on OKCupid for quite a while now or all he does is answer questions… and stalk women online. Surely, his profile says that he is 49 years old. He has pictures of himself next to a Harley-Davidson motorcycle and inside a private airplane. Nonetheless, there is no way he’s only 9 years my senior. This guy has brown-blonde hair (could be a mix of gray and brown), is 5’11 feet tall and most probably has a BMI of 30. Stocky, wrinkly upper lip area, possibly veneers…you know the deal. He’s an older man. My guess was near 60 years old or close. Pervert Rob is 52 and he looks waaaaaay younger. 

To shush him up, I agreed to have him meet me for a drink. Besides that, he kept asking endlessly with each half of the day. By the way, telling welltreveldman that I didn’t have a job seemed to not faze him. “I like your brain and your heart.”. His real name is Jim.

Great. So Monday I meet Jim downtown at a wine bar that just opened. It was around 4:45 pm and the bar was almost empty . I sit down at the bar and at first I thought he was late until he came out of the bathroom. It was easy for me to recognize him because  he’s an old man ( plus he really looks like his picture)  that looks like an old man  dressed in  office clothes. Apparently he has already gotten a table  (we can have any table we wanted at that time) and he directed me to where it was. He tries to be chivalrous by waiting for me to get seated before he sits down, however that doesn’t really impress me as this is the first date and this is usually where men try to be very impressive. I had very low expectations of this meeting since I did not really expect this man to be in the category of people I will date. First of all, obviously he lied about his age. Second of all, he is obviously way beyond  my age limit for men that I would like to date. The first one was already a deal-breaker. To be honest and it is a general rule that if we would like people to like us in an online dating site, the last thing that we would like to do is lie about our age or put a fake profile picture.

Jim began to tell me more about his background. According to him, his boss really likes him and that he really loves his job. He is somewhat a director of marketing for a silicon company near where I live. He then also begins to say that his previous relationships were composed of women that did not seem to have matured over time. While I sip my Sangiovese  quietly, he also mentions that he has read all my questions and my answer is and that he is confident that we are very compatible. He kept on mentioning that we match 94% according to the OkCupid measuring standard. During this entire conversation I was just and mostly nodding to whatever he was saying. To be honest (again) I was just glad to be enjoying a good glass of Sangiovese, finish it and order a Pinot Noir .  In my head I didn’t care about whatever else he was going to say. I already knew that he is not 49 years old. There is no way that he could be 9 years older than me and I wish that he did not have to lie about his age. There was a higher chance that I would pay attention to what he was saying if I knew that I did not have any reasons to not believe him. I’m just like that. I will trust you fully despite meeting you early if you have no reason for me to not believe you.

Another major deal-breaker for me on guys that I meet online  and also guys in real life that I meet  is when they start talking about their exes in  a not-so-discreet manner .  An example would be is when welltreveldman began to discuss about this Asian lady that  he used to date who he said  was a sex maniac and was still  committed to another guy  when she hooked up with him .   “She said that I performed much better than her boyfriend at the time so she really could not stop herself from throwing herself at me.”

Sigh. Oh puh-lease. May I please order more charcuterie ? ??

So after his next 15-minute-story about the last girl he dated, mostly all degrading and mostly making him the victim or so, I asked him to compare driver’s licenses with me. Without waiting for him to respond I bring out my driver’s license and place it on the table. He then brings out his driver’s license and it shows that he was born 1959. I told him at the time that I was pretty much convinced by looking at his profile pictures that he was not really 49 years old.” What do you mean?” He asks me, “Do I look older and my pictures in person?”
Duh. I was so glad that I had swallowed the last sip of wine before he asked me this question! Otherwise I may have choked or sprayed the wine on his face.

“You don’t look like you’re 49. That is all I can say. You look older than what you say you are and I’m just being honest.” 

The smug expression on his face as he was describing his previous relationships changed to a bitter expression as if he was a 7-year-old boy and his mama told him that he cannot be out with his friends because he has house chores to do.

He then proceeded to tell me that he put 49 on his profile because he wanted to meet my age limit. He said that he felt younger than his age and knew that he looks younger than his age.

His mama probably told him the last part.

Later he says that he’s got lots of life achievements and is financially well-off. He added that if we get a chance to know more abour each other and get intimate, I may need a whole day to rest in bed as it would be hard to me to walk . Now before he finished that statement, I made sure this time that whatever was in my mouth was already gone.

He asks me about what I look for in a man AND THEN tells me that in that case we will get along very well.

“I’m unemployed.” I reiterate in a slightly diplomatic way.

“I do like your heart though. I believe in you and I know you will get a job soon.” , he says and grabs my hand. Sure, I don’t pull my hand back. That’s the most I can do to repay him for the good wine and cheese and meat plate. What the fuck does this idiot know about my heart? For all I know, he couldn’t wait to get his hands on the pair that’s lying on top of my heart. 

We get done with the wines and leave the bar. It was around 7pm or so. He walks me to my car and tells me he had a great time and wants to see me again. I shudder inside and tell him that I will check my schedule (TV schedule, that is). I give him a hug good-bye . 

Jesus take the wheel as I drive home and couldn’t be more grossed out with myself for hugging him. He continues to text me throughout the week and says he could not wait until he can take me out to dinner and see me again. I just keep ignoring him! That doesn’t stop him though. His messages kept on pouring first thing in the morning like 7 o’clock and they look like exactly the same type of messages he would send me on OkCupid with hearts and flowers emojis in the end of each text.

I finally replied to his messages and told him that I can only be friends with him. His response was sounding as if it was an “Obection, Your Honor!” and wanted it sustained ! I can almost laugh at the douchebaggery. 

He insisted that we are very compatible. 

“I don’t think I will be happy with you, Jim.”

He asks me to tell him what made me think that.

Eyes roll deliriously in my head. I tell him that really, I have a different taste in men plus I was not completely impressed by the age fibbing. I tell him that it was hugely a turn off. 

“Well I know who I am and I am a good man with qualities better than ordinary.”, he says. 

I respond with, ” Then it should not be difficult for you to find a woman if that’s what you say you are.”

Talk about someone who demands an explanation as if I was his middle school kid and I get caught coming home at 4 in the morning !

He doesn’t text me again the rest of the week. I delete his  OkCupid messaging from my threads and assigned him to “Hide” so he doesn’t get suggested as one of my matches ever again.

Gross.